Fat Boy Slim, Chicken Coops, and the Universe..

As I sat there, heart pounding, still in shock from having survived a Rave where Fat Boy Slim and thousands of other kids came out to a chicken coop some where in the middle of nowhere Eau Claire, Wisconsin to free the animal that coursed through their veins. My buddy turns to me wide eyed with pupils dilated and asks. "We all just came from hunters and gatherers right man?" The question dove into my chest as I realized that I was finally at the fulcrum of a very rapid crash into the pending reality that I was only recently starting to see. All that I had thought was real and worth living for was mutating into chaos all around me. The exciting talk of sex was leading the ones I loved into single parenthood or STD's. Cool sarcasm and the supposed humor of sexist or racist comments had recently raged through the bottle that used to bring joy but now brought abuse and senseless violence. The compensation for this chaos with drugs had been instilled in us through our parents failure to find a balance in Truth. Now their tactics of coping with the dark had guided us into more effective means of sustaining the pass time of "the numb". And "the chaos" had now shoved some of my friends and family past depression into attempts at suicide...some successful.
So everything in me at that moment struggled to grasp for Truth that wasn't there. Yearned to clutch on to it and have it break my rapid descent into chaos. But I had nothing. I had been coping to. I didn't have Truth. But what I did have was the knowledge that this "truth" that I did have was a lie. This "truth" that society deals to its youth daily. This "truth" that told me the first day of my biology course freshman year of High School, that "our sole purpose in life is to reproduce." That "truth" that tells us to do whatever feels right at the time......That "truth" was a lie leading to Chaos. And that chaos was destroying the lives of my friends while I sat idly by allowing it to consume me.
So what did I do in my moment of clarity? I climbed to the top of the 3 story party house we were at and scrambled up on to the pitch of its roof. And when I sat and looked up at the sky I realized that I was trying to get to Truth...that I was trying to get to God. But it seemed it had already gotten to me. I have never seen such small round clouds before that night or so many. Nor had I seen clouds move so fast across the sky. And the full moon blazed down through them at me as if it were a flash light from heaven itself ripping through the darkness and scattering the clouds away.
That was the night that I began my quest for answers. That was the night I prayed for Truth.
But I didn't know to whom I prayed.